A hand gripping a heavy, rough-textured stone against a dark background, in black and white. — Was I using this strength, or proving I still had it? · Photo by Sebastian Schuster on Unsplash

Choose one capacity people rely on in you.

It may be endurance, precision, calm, physical strength, availability, or the ability to finish difficult work.

Do not decide that the capacity is unhealthy.

For one week, record three moments when you use it. Keep the observations concrete.

First, write what the moment actually required.

Second, write how much of your capacity you used.

Third, write what happened after the demand ended.

Did the strength release when the work was finished?

Did you keep applying it because another task genuinely required it?

Or did the effort continue after its purpose had disappeared?

At the end of the week, review the three moments. Ask one question:

Was I using this strength, or was I proving that I still had it?

The distinction will not always be clear. That uncertainty is useful. The purpose is not to become less capable. It is to notice whether capacity still has direction.

If the pattern involves prescribed exercise, rehabilitation, medication, or treatment, do not change the plan from a newsletter exercise. Bring the observation to the clinician responsible for that care.

It goes with last week’s essay, What I Got Wrong About Strength.

Practices here are small, specific, and meant to be done, not admired. Subscribing is free, and it's how the next one finds you.

If someone you know is praised for how much they carry, send this to them.

Were you using your strength, or proving you still had it? Tell me in the comments. I read them.

Healing the Split

What Is Your Strength Serving?